God's Emerging Mosaic

I don't know about you, but as hard as I try, it seems like "life" is either good or bad based on the kind of day I've had. If I'm tired, emotionally, physically, spiritually, then "life" feels like that.

If it's been a nutritious day (like today), "life" is wonderful.

But "life" isn't just one day. It's a series of days, moments, breaths and events. My hubby and I have chosen to see what God is doing with us and contemplate life as more of a mosaic, if you will. A dark tile has a place in a mosaic just as a yellow tile does.

So, I had this idea. I'm keeping a calendar to see what our days' colors look like. I don't expect any type of picture to emerge, for sure, but it will be kind of like a journal of sorts...allowing us to see a little more clearly this mosaic called "life."

Crafting,
Lila

Just for Today

Several years ago I read this almost daily. When life got too challenging, too busy, too too, I'd read this and remember that all we are given is the day. That is enough...more than enough. I hope this will touch you as much as it's touched my life.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires, I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do a least two things I don't want to do--just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

Just for today,
Lila

Are You Sure, Lord?

Ever have one of those times when you sense God is leading you somewhere but you think to yourself, "are you sure, Father?" I had one of those moments the other day.

I've never heard God in an audible voice, but like many of you I've discerned God's voice through scriptures, meditation and prayer, my husband, my sister friends and sometimes when my heart starts pounding. I believe there are times like those that the spirit is leading. Other times, I believe God has gotten my attention through dreams. When we are looking for him, he is definitely there! (Even when we aren't, he is there.)

I had gone home for work to check on our oldest daughter. She had had some events happen that had rightfully thrown her into some grieving. As she and I spoke she quietly cried. My heart ached for her hurt. I asked God for guidance on what to do and the thought came that she and I should go out and "pay it forward." I shared this thought with her and she acquiesced but I think was wondering if her momma was out of her ever-loving mind.

As we drove around the streets of Abilene, she sat in the passenger seat, ever so silently, while tears streamed down her cheeks. My heart was breaking in two! Yet, I felt compelled to drive on and see what God would reveal.

We ended up at the Greyhound bus station where a young woman was standing outside all alone. We pulled up beside her and after assuring her we were o.k. I told her that I had been very blessed and wanted to "pay it forward" and give her some money. She told us she was on her way to Dallas to see her children. I told her to do something nice for the kids.

Now before you go and think how noble and kind I am, DON'T! I was desperately trying to find out what God would have me to do because I simply didn't have a clue. (Still don't if truth be told.)

We pulled out of the parking lot and I began looking for another "pay it forward" recipient. We drove and drove and our eldest sat quietly while tears streamed down . . . still. Finally, I uttered to God, "why am I driving all over our city trying to pay it forward when our eldest is hurting right here in the seat next to me?" At this point I turned around and went home with her just to spend some time.

The next day our eldest told me she had used some other money to pay it forward and how great it had made her feel. She then went on to tell me she is considering the Peace Corps. Well, sometimes when drastic things happen in our lives, drastic actions need to happen, too.

I'd sure appreciate your prayers for direction for our oldest daughter. She has such a beautiful, passionate young heart. We never know what will happen when we follow God's leading, but I know one thing for certain. God is faithful. The end.

Listening,
Lila

Que Sera Sera

As a little girl, my mom would sing me this song. I thought she sounded so pretty...even better than Doris Day. I remember asking her (really begging her) to tell me if I would be pretty or rich. Just like the song, I wanted to know!!

Well, I still want to know how life is going to turn out. Don't you? I have a tough time being in limbo. One of my least favorite expressions of my dear husband is "well see." I don't want to wait and see. I want to know now!!

I remember a pretty rough time many years ago. Our babysitter had become very ill. They determined that she had bone cancer. She went through all the treatments and with each treatment I'd pray that God would heal her. My prayers went to pleading with God to an angry "whatever, God, because you're going to do what you want to do anyway." Not proud of that, but it's honest.

Anyway, our babysitter, Jennifer died. She was sixteen years old. I stayed angry for a long time. How could we explain this to our girls? Why did it have to happen? All these years later, I still don't know, but I do know a few things now.

• No matter what, God loves me (and you).
• No matter what, I'm his daughter.
• No matter what, He's got my back.
• And no matter what, I want to trust him with the big picture.

Hard times have happened since then and I'd like to say I'm learning to more quickly trust him more fully. I'm more quickly praying "whatever" but it's said with hands turned up and open to him rather than closed and in fists.

My friends, please remind me of this when adversity comes my way...as it inevitably will. I'll remind you, in love, too.

Que sera, sera. The future's not ours to see, but God sees. That's good enough for me today.

Singing in my Father's lap,
Lila