Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Que Sera Sera

As a little girl, my mom would sing me this song. I thought she sounded so pretty...even better than Doris Day. I remember asking her (really begging her) to tell me if I would be pretty or rich. Just like the song, I wanted to know!!

Well, I still want to know how life is going to turn out. Don't you? I have a tough time being in limbo. One of my least favorite expressions of my dear husband is "well see." I don't want to wait and see. I want to know now!!

I remember a pretty rough time many years ago. Our babysitter had become very ill. They determined that she had bone cancer. She went through all the treatments and with each treatment I'd pray that God would heal her. My prayers went to pleading with God to an angry "whatever, God, because you're going to do what you want to do anyway." Not proud of that, but it's honest.

Anyway, our babysitter, Jennifer died. She was sixteen years old. I stayed angry for a long time. How could we explain this to our girls? Why did it have to happen? All these years later, I still don't know, but I do know a few things now.
  • No matter what, God loves me (and you).
  • No matter what, I'm his daughter.
  • No matter what, He's got my back.
  • And no matter what, I want to trust him with the big picture.
Hard times have happened since then and I'd like to say I'm learning to more quickly trust him more fully. I'm more quickly praying "whatever" but it's said with hands turned up and open to him rather than closed and in fists.

My friends, please remind me of this when adversity comes my it inevitably will. I'll remind you, in love, too.

Que sera, sera. The future's not ours to see, but God sees. That's good enough for me today.

Singing in my Father's lap,


Suzanne said...

Great post!

When I was younger I remember thinking that part of heaven must be knowing all the answers to all the questions, especially the answers to why bad things sometimes happen even when we pray so hard for them not to happen. Thankfully, God helped me to see that is not what's important.

I love your take on this.

Sarah said...

Where did I just see the story/ illustration of the irritatingly patient man whose response to everything was 'We'll see..."? Was it on Vann's blog? It was, basically, 'we'll see how God will use this...' yes, please remind me.

Vann said...

I love talking with you about things like this during our nightly walks at McMurry. xoxo