God's a Knockin'

I don't know how God shows up in your life or more importantly how you "hear" him speaking to you. For me, it's usually in a few ways.

The first way is when God knocks on my heart. Usually, literally, in a public setting, God places something on my heart he wants me to say...but I don't want to. My heart starts "a palpitating" and I know that it won't slow back to normal until I say what God has for me to share.

And sometimes on more rare occasions, I believe he has used dreams in my life to bring me to him. Not often, but still...

And then another way that God works to help me hear him is when he starts presenting an idea over and over. I realize that it's a point my Father is trying to bring home to me.

Something God is sharing with me now is how important confession is in my life. (I'm not about to say I like this lesson. I DON'T...just for the record.) When we confess our sins, it brings light on them.

I believe confession brings to light the things we are most ashamed of "not being able or willing" to control. But, I ask myself if that is not the problem in the first place. Me trying to control. Me messing up...again. Me, me, me. Arghhh! I fail every time. He never does though. Why can't I get that?

One thing I've come to realize about myself is that I can use my "fluffy" exterior to keep a distance between people. As Chris Seidman said this morning, "If you are looking for "why" all the time, it's a clay pigeon." I don't know why. I've been hurt. But, I'm guessing you have to. Who hasn't?

There. I'm shining a big light on this sin. Sure, it's a sin to eat too much. But more than that, it's hurtful to God when I won't go to him instead of something that isn't even living (or smart), again, as Chris Seidman said this morning.

I want to grow in trusting our father more. It's not about him. He's faithful. I'm just faithless a whole lot of the time. I don't want the evil one to hold me hostage and in the dark with this sin. It's yours, Father. I know you will deal with me lovingly as always.

Adjusting to the light,

Lila