Monday, December 8, 2008

Fa La La-ing?

In the midst of my Christmas-ing this evening, our oldest steps in and nonchalantly tells me that her friend has invited her to go home with her...over Christmas!

What?! You have a home to go to on Christmas, I remind her. Yes, but all of my friends will be gone. This town doesn't feel like home. Two of her three best friends are moving after graduation...in just a few days

She asks if we could do Christmas earlier. I struggle and want to dig my heels in and tell her "of course not!" as it wouldn't be the same.

As we sit in silence, she gets up to leave and I tell her that she should do what she needs to do. She IS almost 24 years old, I remind myself.

Our oldest has always been close to friends. In my head, it makes sense. In my heart, it hurts.

She's just come down again and tells me she probably won't go. I assure her it's fine. (But...secretly, I am a little relieved.)

As I think about all this Christmas-ing stuff, I think about all those hurting now. This hasn't really been a big "fa la la Christmas season" for me this year.

In a few days we'll spend some time with Vann's sister and her husband (whose house burned to the ground a couple of months ago.) There at that same gathering we'll see his aunt and uncle. (His aunt had breast cancer this year) and their daughter who lost her husband of three years three months ago. 2008 has been rough.

I'm so thankful God walks us through the rough stuff. Living life isn't for sissies, that's for sure.

This year at Christmas my focus has been more outward. Not on the stuff I want or want to give. We'll be pretty light on that this year. But I want to give extravagant love. I found this picture of this woman and it touched me.

I sure have a lot of random thoughts tonight. My head is everywhere. That's o.k. God will bring peace.

Waiting,
Lila

3 comments:

Tammy M. said...

My heart would have split in two, you handled it much better than I would. I would have just curled up into a ball of mess and cried then and there.

Shandi said...

Hug.

I know what you mean.. I pray for you.

Love,
Shandi

Suzanne said...

Praying peace and joy for you and your family, sweet friend.